Atticus' Diary
by Tookietookietookie
Summary: Whilst exploring in the attic, Jem and Scout find Atticus' old diary, and it brings back sad memories for their father. rating purely so i can be on the safe side


Jem pulled himself into the dusty attic with his one good arm, after breaking it he had spent a lot of time up here, looking through all of the old boxes of clothes, photos, newspaper clippings, and a few old dusty mouldy books. He turned around and helped pull his little sister, Scout, through the hole; she coughed as the dust raised from their feet settled on her nose. She looked around at the dark and damp room, nothing interesting, she sighed and looked up at her brother.

"_Jem, what did you bring me here for? I thought you said there was something interesting that I had to see immediately. I can't see anything interesting_" She pouted and crossed her arms. Jem sighed and grabbed her hand, he lead her over to the furthest corner and told her to sit down, after she did, and she had stopped complaining, he sat down next to her and picked up a thick, leather covered book. Its pages were yellow and water stained, its cover was rough and hand made, and a bear was carved into the cover with the name '_Atticus'_ underneath it. Jem grinned and undid the thin string holding the book shut, he opened it to the first page and showed Scout, she read it out loud.

"_This book belongs to 'Atticus Finch'_

_Given to him by Aunty Meredith and Uncle Walter_

_On the 3.6.1899"_

Half of the writing was typed, the other half was hand written. Scout look up at Jem, a curious look on her face.

"_Jem, this is Atticus' book! Wow, he sure is old isn't he? What is the book about?" _Jem rolled his eyes and turned the pages to the first page that had more writing on it. Unlike Scout had expected; it was hand written, there was a date at the top. She looked up at Jem quickly; a huge, cheeky grin had spread across her face.

"_Jem! This is Atticus' Journal! Should we tell him we've found it? Maybe he'll read it to us!" _

Jem quickly pulled the book out of her reach, scowling he retorted.

"_No, he'll take it away, and we'll never be able to read it! No, we will read it ourselves, and THEN we will ask him to read it to us, that way if he says no, we've read it anyway! If you tell him I swear I'll pound you!"_

Scout sighed and sat next to her brother, after thinking for a little while she replied cautiously.

"_Ok, I won't tell Atticus about us finding the journal, BUT only if you read it to me!" _She stared at Jem trying to figure out what he was thinking. She couldn't tell, but he replied with an ok, and they began to read, it was more like a full book than an actual Diary, the scribbled dates seemed to be more like a guideline than anything else, the writing was small and neat, almost perfect.

Hello, my name is Atticus Finch; I was 16 ½ when the following events started. I'm now 18 and am writing them down so that I will remember them all. Here I go.

The day when everything started was the 10.11.1901. I was playing baseball with a few of my friends in the street when a cry came out.

"_Watch out! Loose horse! Loose horse! Get off of the road_!"

This statement was followed quickly by the sound of galloping hooves along the road. We all scampered of the road just in time to let a huge squarely built horse gallop past, it's mane and tail flying, its eyes were rolling although it had no saddle, it had sweat marks indicating it had recently been ridden and it still wore its bridle, the reins of which were flapping wildly in the wind, probably keeping the horse going more than it usually would under such circumstances. We all crowded onto the road behind it when again the sound of hoof beats approaching from behind at a fast pace sounded. We all scatted as another horse galloped past, like the first it had no saddle, only a bridle, but this horse had a rider, a young girl, perched on its back. She was of a small build and she was crouched low over the large horses chestnut withers, her blonde hair was flying out behind her, her slim, yet strong legs guiding the horse along, and her dark blue eyes watching the loose horse with absolute concentration.

This was the first time I saw Miss Maria O'Grady. Or as I got to know her as "Mar"

It was only around twenty minutes later when she rode past again; this time leading the horse beside her, its coat was covered in a shiny layer of sweat which glistened in the dim sunlight. The girl's blonde hair had fallen around her face; her pale skin was covered in smudges of dirt. This was the first time I ever fell in love. It still gives me goose bumps.

She turned and looked my way, and as our eyes locked there was a connection, something very strong and something that I will never forget.

We later were informed that the girl was from the new racing stables and that the horse was one of their prize racehorses that had escaped from its groom after being ridden. For the next two weeks we saw nothing of the girl or her horses and we all forgot about it, except for me. I often rode my bicycle down past the large black iron gates and stared in, longing for a sight of her.

Then school began again, I assumed that I would never meet her again, so you can imagine my surprise when ten minutes after class had started she rushed in, her hair a mess and panting from her run. The teacher, Miss Mingle, turned and narrowed her eyes in a stern glare at Mar, who smiled apologetically and advanced across the room.

'Hello Miss, I am so sorry that I am late, I promise that it will never happen again, my father forgot that I started to day and I had no way to get here so I had to run, I live just outside of town, so it is quite a way. Again, my deepest apologises for interrupting your class and being late. I will just take a seat and I am sure that I can catch up on what you were saying." She smiled and turned and walked to the only available desk, which luckily was next to me.

Miss Mingle shook her head and continued on her discussion about what we would be covering, Maria spoke so eloquently and well with such manners that Miss Mingle forgave her. The rest of the class began whispering and trying to figure out what accent she possessed. It was flowing, musical and very charming.

The biggest surprise came when we started covering trigonometry; there were only three girls in the senior class as most girls don't finish school, and none of them are at all intelligent, so when Miss Mingle asked a question and Maria raised her hand, we all groaned inwardly for in our prior knowledge, girls only ask to go to the toilet, or ask stupid questions. Miss Mingle nodded to Maria, who answered the question correctly; Miss Mingle smiled and continued on. By the end of the morning session we had discovered that Maria already knew all of the work, but due to family issues had been unable to complete her senior exam and was repeating the grade so that she may take part in. We also discovered that she had started a year early and was our own age.

We all felt very dumb when we were informed of this information and Maria was isolated.

At break she sat by herself watching the horses in the nearby paddock, although she was beautiful, she was intelligent and this put of many of the guys as women were not meant to be intelligent. Should I ever have a daughter, I will let her get all the benefits of any male, for that is the way it should be.

I decided at lunch time to go and talk to Maria, this is were my affection for her began to grow from one of physical attraction, to one that also consisted of a like of her that came as a consequence of her personality.

'Hello, I'm Atticus, how are you?" That was what I said, I sounded very stupid and I inwardly scolded myself.

"Hi Atticus, I'm Maria, but call me Mar, I'm alright, yourself?" The conversation continued like this, consisting of small talk for all of lunch, we spoke about what our parents did, how old we were, anything that came up. She had a strange sense of humour that was very flattering to her. She was also very polite and friendly. I planned to get to know her better. I also had found out that she was from Ireland, a town called Kilkenny, in the south.

By the end of first term, Mar and I were very good friends and I decided to ask her to go fishing with me. I knew that she liked fishing as she had mentioned numerous fishing trips with her father. So after school I jogged up to Maria, who was wearing the most charming white summer dress, it was amazing, and she had a thick white ribbon tied around her waist, and then the dress flowed out to her knees, she also wore her hair in the most captivating way, she looked so beautiful. She smiled and laughed at me as she started walking backwards away from me. I caught up and asked her to go fishing.

She smiled and agreed, so we continued to talk about it and organise it and I ended up walking her home.

When we got to her place, she invited me in for a drink, if the day hadn't been so hot I would probably not have agreed but it was and the dust had settled in my throat and a drink sounded like the best idea. So we entered through the gates and my jaw dropped, I had always waited outside the large iron gates and behind the wall of stone, I had never seen the huge majestic land and buildings that made up the property.

The driveway was long and teardrop shaped, loping around a large water fountain with four rearing horses, the house was a huge sandstone mansion, of four floors, with pillars and a square front. To the left were the horse stables, large and made of more sandstone, then behind them was the race track, a full racetrack, there was also a vast amount of paddocks all sectioned off with white fences and in the closest was a group of mares with their foals. It was at this stage that I realised how rich Maria's family was and I felt like an insignificant worm on the bottom of her shoes. No wonder her clothes were so nice and flattering, they were probably designed specifically for her.

Maria did not realise my astonishment and walked down the driveway and into the house, where she handed her hat and bags to a butler and asked for a jug of lemonade and two glasses to be brought out onto the outside pergola. Here we sat in the chairs and Maria filled me in about the racing business.

When I left, it was starting to get dark, and Maria insisted that her butler drive me home in their car. They had a car! And not just a cheap car that didn't work, one of the ones that everyone was talking about, it dropped me of home and I felt ashamed of my 'humble abode.' My mother thought that the police had dropped me off and when I explained it was my friend she demanded to know my friends name.

"Her name is Maria O' Grady, her father." I was interrupted by mother's high pitched squeal,

"Maria O'Grady? Miss Maria O'Grady! Her father is the race horse owner and trainer, they recently built that huge Irish inspired mansion and racing stables, oh my lord, you didn't embarrass us did you? O'Grady, wow, do you know that they are the richest people this side of the Mississippi! I have no doubt. His land and assets are worth over 3 million dollars! He also has 2 million dollars in numerous banks around the place, she is his only child after his wife died in a horsing accident, she is set to inherit the whole fortune and take over after he passes on! You are friends with her? Oh my gosh, obviously she doesn't know how little we own in comparison. Oh I must go and tell your father!" Then mother ran off to inform father of the startling news.

I lay in bed for hours that night, 5 million dollars in total, and that was rising as the horses continued to win and the stocks that he had rose. She was the richest person I had ever met, yet she wasn't snobby or stupid, she was intelligent, kind, and beautiful, some people had everything it seemed. I decided to keep talking to her regardless, it was obviously very lonely for her.

When she arrived at my house the next day in a light peach dress to go fishing, we were held up by mother talking to her for over an hour, then we finally managed to escape,

"Why are you wearing such a nice dress to go fishing?" I asked, Maria laughed and smiled at me, I felt my heart melt.

"I am wearing this dress because father won't let me out of the house dressed as he puts it, 'unfashionably'." she laughed at her impression of her father and swung a bag around.

"My clothes to go fishing are in here, where can I get changed?" My voice stuck in my throat at the thought of her getting changed, but I faked it off as a cough.

"There is a small fishing shack near the river, you could change in there if you want. " I suggested, she smiled, agreed, and began discussing one of her favourite horses.

At the sound of Atticus returning, both Scout and Jem jumped because they were so caught up in the book, which Jem hid under a box. He then helped Scout out of the attic and they both ran to find Atticus and try and get him to mention his childhood, and this mysterious Irish Women that they had never heard of. They both knew of the mansion, it was now owned by an old racing trainer who only trained three horses and lived there alone. He was a grumpy man who had once nearly shot some of the children who had gone into his property to play.

"_Atticus, Atticus!_" shouted Scout as she raced over to her father who lifted her into his arms and twirled her around.

"_Scout, Jem, you are both covered in dust! Have you been playing around in the attic?"_ At their enthusiastic nods, Atticus laughed and ran his hand lovingly through Jem's hair.

"_Well, did you find anything interesting?"_ Jem grinned and nodded,

"_Yes sir, we found some of your old school books, we were wondering, do you have any stories from your time? Who were you friends with and where are they now? Was it much different back then?"_ Atticus chuckled and undid his tie; he smiled and then walked past his two children into his lounge room.

"_How about after dinner, I tell you a story instead of reading you the newspaper?"_ suggested Atticus. Jem and Scout nodded and raced of to get ready for dinner, neither feeling as guilty as they had expected at the 'small white lie', that they had told to their father.

Atticus sat and thought about what to tell his children about his childhood and his friends. Then he remembered Maria, he frowned, he hadn't thought about her in so long, not since she had left, but that was not an appropriate story to tell his children, he was sure that they didn't want to here about his first girlfriend, especially since the girl wasn't their mother and hadn't been a extremely respectable person in the highly judgmental and prejudiced eyes of the town.

After dinner Jem sat on the chair opposite his father and Scout sat herself on Atticus' knee, Atticus began to tell them about his first day of high school. Jem realised how off track they were and decided to try and steer his father in the right direction.

"_Atticus, was ma your fist girlfriend?"_ He asked, Atticus started and stared at his son.

"_Well, no, I didn't meet your mother until much later than my school years, would you like to hear how I met her?"_ Jem shook his head,

"_No Atticus, you've already told us that, who was your first girlfriend? Was it Miss May?"_ Atticus chuckled,

"_No Jem, it wasn't my first girlfriends name was Maria O'Grady, she was Irish."_ Jem and Scout showed looks of amazement and astonishment,

"_An Irish girl! Wow, was she pretty? Did she talk funny?"_ Scout asked, catching on to what Jem was doing.

"_Err, yes Scout, she was pretty, much like yourself, but she wasn't anything like you or Jem, she was very pale with white blonde hair and very delicate features. She spoke with an accent yes; she possessed a very beautiful and musical voice actually, would you like to hear about her? I forgot you've never met anyone who wasn't from America." _Scout and Jem smiled up at their father,

"_Atticus please, tell us about the Irish girl, pretty please!" _Scout said and hugged her father.

"_Alright, I'll tell you about Maria, what would you like to know?" _Atticus asked, he was suspicious about the way his children were acting, what had they found up in the attic?

"_What was she like? No, how did you meet? No, did you only know her as a girlfriend or did you know her as a friend before? Everything you can think of about her!" _Exclaimed Scout, getting over enthusiastic, at this statement Atticus coughed and looked down at his children over the top of his glasses.

"_Okay, now what did you to find up there? No lies now, the truth." _Jem scowled at Scout who stared at Atticus with wide eyes,

"_But how did you guess?"_ Atticus laughed,

"_I knew because you two were so curious and knew an awful lot of 'situations' for it to be a coincidence. So what did you find?"_

Atticus asked, worried that they had found one of the letters that Maria had written to him.

"_We found your old diary, you wrote it when you were eighteen and it was about her." _Atticus smiled, he had forgotten about the diary,

"_Jem, go and bring me the diary, I'll read it to you later, once I've gone through it, just in case there are personal things that you don't need to know in there." _Jem scowled and ran off; he returned moments later with the diary. At lease Atticus would read it, although he would probably make it all up, Jem decided to ask one question,

"_Why did you two break up? Why didn't you marry her? Why did she leave here?" _Atticus snapped back a response,

"_We broke up because we did, that is the end of it, now both of you off to bed." _Atticus stood up, picked up the newspaper and walked out onto the pergola where he sat on the wooden seat and began to read. Jem and Scout went off to bed sulkily and slammed the door.

Atticus sighed and took of his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Why did Maria have to turn up again? Those two years with her, he smiled at the memory and wondered where she was now. He picked up the diary and began to read about, as he read other things came back into his mind about his time with Mar.

When we got to the river, Maria went into the shack, and I stood outside and waited, we had decided to go further down the river along the bank as that was the best spot, but it was muddy and although I warned Maria, she insisted that we go there and walked of to change. I secretly hoped that she wasn't as petty as the other girls that I knew who hated fish, worms, mud, mangroves, pretty much anything to do with fishing. Maria came back out, dressed in a pair of black overalls which went to her knees and a white blouse underneath; she had tied her hair up in a small messy ponytail and grinned as she skipped over to me.

"Well shall we go?" she questioned and took the bucket with the bait out of my hand, I smiled and started along the river bank.

It was overgrown since last summer and we had to struggle to crawl under the branches, the mud squelched around our ankles and the smell was atrocious, I feared that she would think me savage, but turning around I saw her right behind me, smiling in the excitement. I smiled back and we continued. When we reached the fishing spot, we perched ourselves comfortably in the trees and Maria took out the bait and handed me a worm before threading one onto her own. Then we cast out our lines and relaxed and conversed. After an hour and a bit Maria had caught two fish and I only one, she laughed at me and leaned over and kissed me on the forehead as a form of comfort. What I did next was stupid and I regret it immensely.

"Do you have boyfriend Maria?" It was stupid because it gave away the fact that I fancied her and I knew that she would realise this, but the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Maria raised her eyebrows and sat back in the tree, a satisfied smug grin on her face as I could feel myself begin to go red from the embarrassment.

"I do not have boyfriend not at the current moment no. What about yourself Atticus, do you have a boyfriend?" She laughed at her silly joke and I laughed along, to hide my embarrassment.

"No I don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter," I replied, hoping that she would like me in return. Maria smiled and leant forward,

"I'm glad that you are single, that is very convenient," she blushed and went back to fishing, it was then that I did the second stupid thing that day. I kissed her.


End file.
